Am writing this not as a love letter but to tell what I wanted to talk about us. I think we just missed some time talking or hanging out together as a couple. I miss the times we used to be like lovers in love.
Those sleepless nights and intimate moments not to mention going home the next day. So funny that we have to go to work a few hours after we arrived home…..Those were the days.
I know that you’ve been very busy with your job and I do understand how it works.
You were to me now, a thing in the past, nevertheless one who had shared my bittersweet and fond memories of what I now call a tender love.
I was so young then, too trusting, too in love for my own good that it had become a great downfall for me when one day I woke up knowing that we cant be together anymore.
Now, as I looked back you were merely a retrospect, a rendezvous where once I had been too happy to believe nothing else could be as beautiful.
You were my fondest memories of a boy who loved me, but for the threatening battle I would have to face with people attached to you . You seemed to be a wounded, careless,
passionate sometimes too needy but nonetheless a man who never asked questions about all the imperfections of the world he had to live with.
I was so sure that you really love me .Just as sure as I am now because after all those years you remained never far beyond my reach. You were always ready for assuring words
even from miles away. I know though that there are just some things no matter how absurd or right they seem to be that can never be the same anymore.
These are the things that will remain to be used-to-bes.
People change. Came across harsh realities. I wished that I was not that girl whose world was centered on you, I would always care for you though.
We were in love but was lifetimes ago. I all but understand that we have been lucky enough to get to have what others can only hope for. I sighed and said in a whisper that I hoped you will
somehow hear.." Lifetime from now, both you and I can look at each other without pain anymore
but with contentment in our eyes. When that day comes, we will be proud of what we would then become. Even without each other.
I was so jealous seeing couples together and you can even tell how much they value the love they shared. I miss the guy I know, the guy that would came up to me even in the middle of the night or even travel that far just to be with me. For 3 years now I’ve loved you and I keep on getting hurt. It’s the pain from the past that keeps on pulling me down and day by day you’re adding more to it. Lies that you don’t take as a sin and things don’t matter to you anymore. I can feel and anyone can see that you’re not into me and you’re just there for the baby. I wanted to know if there was really love. I wanted to fix and bring back the love I thought we had but it seems that the world and what’s happening now is showing me that we can never be together and there can and will never be us in the future. This pains me a lot. I grew tired of arguments and conflicts. Am so tired of this routine and its getting worst. Am so sad and don’t know if holding on is a good thing or letting go would be better.
Most of my questions remain unanswered and every time I wanted to talk to you about it you keep on ignoring such topics and tend to get mad and be annoyed. It’s just I’ve been pushing myself to you and keep on hoping that someday everything will turn out fine, that broken pieces can still be fix. I was wrong, I cant accept the fact that you never did value how much you mean to me and I was too eager looking for a guy who would turn the world upside down. A guy who can make me smile and a guy who would accept me for who I am and mostly a guy who would never hurt me. I was so afraid of falling in love coz I know I would get hurt. It did happen and will happen.
Aren’t you getting tired too? I don’t know if it’s a right thing to say sorry for making the past 3 years challenging and miserable that makes me the person I am now. Thank you though for times you would let things go my way.
